When news broke earlier this week that a major glitch in Microsoft's Hotmail service allowed techno-scoundrels to pose as any one of Hotmail's 60 million accountholders, panic set in among users throughout the Net. Was that threatening email they had received from a mysterious Hotmail address genuine? But the ramifications were still greater for the Hotmail user, who must ask: Has someone dared use his or her good name for ill purposes?

The investigations have begun, and the results, so far, are disturbing. Below are some recently unearthed emails of questionable origin, which -- if authentic -- the authors certainly wouldn't want you to see.

To: bwalters@abcnews.com
From: jpauley@hotmail.com
Subject: segment teaser
A vulnerable young girl who nearly toppled a government for the love of one man. A history-making interview, stolen from its rightful owner by a conniving senior citizen. A dried-up bitch who must die. Who could deserve such a fate? The answer _may_ surprise you. Stay tuned.

To: mlawrence@spe.com
From: usocrazy@hotmail.com
Subject: Notes 2 self
Mall: Find fur jogging pullover, rubber pants. Blockbuster: Sweatin' to the oldies, Nutty Professor, Tae-bo. Pharmacy: Lithium, herbal fen-phen.

To: pjp2@vatican.va
From: lking@hotmail.com
Subject: pre-interview
Hi John-just had a few background questions before the show: Who designs the hats? Do you have some sort of answering service in the Vatican if God calls and you're in Mexico or something? When you're taking communion, and the cracker-thing transmogrifies into the flesh of Jesus Christ - is that gross? Let's say a TV personality enters into a contract with the Prince of Darkness for eternal life in return for his immortal soul. Is that completely irrevocable?

To: jreno@usdoj.gov
From: bubba-licious@hotmail.com
Subject: hot4u?
Dear Janet:
Saw u on the TV yesterday talking about expanding the u-know-what. Have u been working out? Anyhoo, just thought u'd like to know that there's nothing to that thing. I did not have u-no-what with that woman. The bald eagle has not left his perch. But he's got his eye out... is that a new hairstyle 4 u?

To: pamelavip@tristar.com
From: savethesea@hotmail.com
Subject: saltwater crisis
Dear Mrs. Lee:
Thank you for your interest in our efforts to save the Dead Sea. As you well know, this historic body of water is in danger of drying up in a matter of years due to excessive saltwater mining. Any donations you can manage would be greatly appreciated.

Greg Lee is a Seattle-based freelance writer with a Hotmail address. He suspects someone has been sending crappy resumes to prospective employers under his name.