World To End Sunday In Firestorm Of Death?
Racist meteors race towards Earth

Call up someone you love and tell them how you really feel. There's no need to hold back now ­- if Richard Hoagland and his merry followers are correct, November 7 may be the end of the world as we know it.

See also...
... by Patrick Di Justo
... in the Whoa! section
... from November 5, 1999

Hoagland, the man who gave us the Face on Mars, has expanded his thesis of extraterrestrial intelligence into a mind-boggling web of interplanetary destruction that includes hyper-dimensional physics, star worshippers at the Federal Emergency Management Agency, The X-Files, and the constellation Taurus the Bull.

In a nutshell, Hoagland seems to believe that America's astronomy and space establishment is controlled by a cabal of world-domination enthusiasts he likes to call, well, "The Cabal." Their plan (which Hoagland calls "The Plan") is for NASA to use a fleet of spaceships to save the crème of society from an impending solar system catastrophe.

For years, Hoagland knew that such a calamity was on its way, but he wasn't exactly sure of the form it would take. It could be a hyper-dimensional explosion on the sun. It could be an attack by extraterrestrial Grays, coming to steal the Earth's precious water.

Then, while watching a CNN videotape of the August 11 solar eclipse, Hoagland noticed something no scientist caught: three objects close to the sun, on a direct collision course with the Earth! No dismissive claim of "lens flare" could fool Hoagland; he knew Earth-busting meteors when he saw them. In fact, the arrangement of the objects next to the eclipse looked very much like the flag of Turkey (which is proof that something is going on, because the CNN video was shot from Ankara -- how much more proof do you need?).

Hoagland mentioned the objects on the Art Bell show a week later, and the next day received a phone call from an anonymous source in The Cabal he calls Max. Max confirmed that three huge asteroids are headed for Earth. He said that the government was incapable of diverting the objects, which Hoagland already knew because it had been part of The X-Files season finale.

Max said that the first asteroid (code named "Titanic") will hit somewhere in Siberia. The second object, "Bismarck," is in a shallow trajectory that may cause it to miss the Earth, or may plunge it onto central Manitoba. The third object, "Monitor," will slam into the Atlantic off the coast of Morocco.

All these objects came out of the constellation Taurus, the home of the Taurid meteors. How were the paths of these objects known so precisely? Because, Hoagland insists, the government put them there!

The asteroids are part of a U.S. government plot to use hyper-dimensional spacecraft to divert asteroids to specific places on the earth to wipe out the non-Caucasian races. Hoagland deduced this from New York Mayor Giuliani's vociferous objection to the Virgin Mary being portrayed as a dung-ornamented black woman in a recent show in the Brooklyn Museum.

Hoagland can't provide any more details, because government agents keep using hyper-dimensional physics to give him and his informants heart attacks.

Patrick Di Justo actually managed to explain the Internet to his mother.