As any dieter or exercise buff knows, our weight is only one small piece of the puzzle. Not to be forgotten is your body-fat percentage. Don't worry -- you don't have to break out the tongs. Just get The Sharper Image's body-fat monitor, which runs a very slight electric current through your body to determine your body-fat percentage in seconds. Yes, you can stick a lightbulb in your mouth while you do it. But it won't light -- I tried it.

Vibrasonic's line of magnetic massagersapplies the triple whammy of heat or cold, vibration, and magnetic therapy to your aching muscles. According to Vibrasonic, application of a magnet to living tissues changes the dynamics of the ion flow in the bloodstream, resulting in vasodilation and concomitant increased blood flow. Say what? Forgetaboutit. Just strap yourself in to the Vibrasonic Magnetic Neck Massager and Magnetic Back Massager, snuggle your feet into the oddly ovine Plush Foot Massager, and start brushing your chest hair, if applicable, with the Massaging Brush with Infra-Red Lights. You'll stick to the fridge, but you'll feel no pain.

Thomas S. Roche is a staff writer at GettingIt. He sticks to the fridge.