Scrotums as big as grapefruit. Labia the size of mud flaps. Cocks the width of Coke cans. What's this? One of those off-color anecdotes Clarence Thomas allegedly told Anita Hill? Wrong again, O headcheese-breath! It's genital saline infusion, and it's all the rage with those S/Mers unwilling to settle for the usual nipple clamps, cock rings and butt plugs.
Yep, some folks get turned on by sticking a needle in their genitals and injecting them with a few hundred milliliters of saline. Their naughty bits inflate like balloon animals, and they have to walk around like Popeye for a day or two while their bodies absorb all the excess fluid.
Does it hurt? Shit yeah, that's why they do it. Not surprisingly, if one's to judge by all the literature on the subject, it's mostly the guys who are dumb enough to pull a stunt like this. Hell, we'll do anything for a rise, even pump up our nutsacks like basketballs if that's what it takes.
Men usually fill their flesh-pouch to bursting. The next day, the saline moves down into ye olde beef wand, and puffs it up like a studmuffin on steroids. But alas, all good things must come to an end, and the swelling subsides, leaving your crotch-rocket sore to the touch. Ouch!
Just take a look at the Body Modification Ezine. They've got page after page of scrotums galore and enough dicks to take a bite out of crime. Some gals poke their clit hoods and pussy lips with needles and infuse saline. Pussies that look like pita bread!
Even if the appearance is hideous, we fellas know how friggin' good it's gonna feel to stick our wonder worms up those plump meat sandwiches. Mmm, hmm. Better than tongue on rye with mustard and pickle...
Other sources of information on saline injection include the mag The SandMUtopian Guardian and Brenda Love's ever-popular Encyclopedia of Unusual Sexual Practices (Barricade Books). But the Body Modification Ezine is the one to read if you want step-by-step instructions on how to inject yourself with saline. Hey folks, it's a free country, but wouldn't you be better off just taking up a hobby? Backgammon, maybe?
Stephen Lemons is a full-time writer and sex fiend who contributes frequently to New Times L.A., the Los Angeles Times, Art Connoisseur, and SOMA magazine.
People Do runs each Monday on GettingIt.