Sometimes I long for the charming juvenile delinquency of a younger, more innocent America. Before every misunderstood 12-year-old had a matching pair of Tec-9s and a bedroom full of Stinger missiles. Back when punks in striped shirts with propeller beanies used to commit wild, rebellious acts like pitching pennies and chewing gum in class -- or standing on street corners with yo-yos.

Well juvenile delinquency has come a long way, even if you're just talking yo-yos. None of this dime-store Duncan bullshit. Baby, we're talking high-tech whirling thingamajigs made of aircraft-grade anodized aluminum. Take the Zombie, ferinstance, from EYoyo.com; at $14.99, it's the lowest-priced metal whirler you can lay your hands on -- computer carved from aluminum and individually tuned. Or if you're looking for something a little shinier, dig the chrome-plated Losi Silver Series for $26.99, which looks like the forehead-nodule on some whacked-out alien on Babylon 5.

But if you're looking for the ultimate in high-tech yo-ing (the insider's term for what the rest of us would awkwardly call "yo-yo-ing"), there's no question that you want The Metallic Missile. It's the premier model from yo-yomeisters Yomega, made of aluminum but rimmed in rubber to protect your delicate hand. For a measly $63 (currently on sale for less!) you'll rest easy knowing you own the utmost in yo-yo perfection, assuming you really care in the first place.

Of course, a slightly less advanced but still trés moderne choice is the Strobe-Yo, the world's most technologically advanced light-up yo-yo. The Strobe-Yo syncs up the flash of its rim lights with the spin of the yo-yo, making it look like the lights are speeding up, slowing down, and reversing around the rim of the yo-yo. It'll set you back about $40, but the kids will think you're cool again, even if you are the proud owner of the Yomega Sling Yo-Yo Carrying Case.

GettingIt staff yo-yo Thomas Roche can be seen every afternoon pitching pennies in front of the local crackhouse.