Celebrities Do Christmas
Taste gets a holiday
by David Cassel
Published December 24, 1999 in Dirt

Showbiz has its own holiday tradition. When Christmas rolls around, celebrities materialize like invading elves -- then mug their way through a sleigh-ful of bad Christmas albums, TV specials, and movies. It's that magical time of year when even good taste gets a holiday. And after making our list and checking it twice, we've concluded that what these celebrities need most for Christmas is a stocking filled with stronger drugs than the ones they took to dream up the seasonal offerings below.

See also...
... by David Cassel
... in the Dirt section
... from December 24, 1999

Sure, mustering seasonal good will, audiences suffer this hype-happy ritual as though humoring boozy relatives drunk on egg nog. But why not spend some time with us shopping for answers to our celebrity Christmas quiz?

TV is full of Christmas-y celebrities. This year, which of the following did not happen on a Christmas special?
Rosie O'Donnell, 'NSync, Celine Dion, Gloria Estefan, and Elmo appeared to promote an album that they'd all recorded together

Drew Barrymore appeared with Ed Asner in a Christmas special.

Mariah Carey welcomed special guest star Aretha Franklin.

Hulk Hogan appeared in the heart-warming story about a department store Santa Claus, Santa with Muscles.
There have been many strange sights at Christmas time -- and many strange pairings of celebrities and Christmas songs. Which of these recording sessions didn't take place?
Jon Bon Jovi singing "Please Come Home for Christmas."
U2 singing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)."
Run-D.M.C. singing "Silent Night."
Frank Sinatra and Cyndi Lauper singing a duet of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town."
During the filming of Jingle All the Way, Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Got a surprise birthday party from his co-stars Martin Mull, James Belushi, Harvey Korman, and Laraine Newman.
Asked guest star Phil Hartman for comedy tips.
Told co-star Jake Lloyd he should audition for Phantom Menace.
Grabbed an elderly woman's butt, then blamed Sinbad.
Three of these songs were really recorded; one wasn't. Which one?

Stevie Wonder, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Me."
Marilyn Manson, "Christmas Eve Can Kill You."
James Brown, "Santa is Going Straight to the Ghetto."
Lisa Brokop, "Shake Me, I Rattle."
Which of the following did not turn up in Pee-wee Herman's gloriously retro 1988 Christmas special?

Cher
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Cyndi Lauper
Charo
Which Christmas single did we make up?

RuPaul singing "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus."
Jimi Hendrix's cover of "The Little Drummer Boy."
David Bowie narrating "Peter and the Wolf."
Charo's "Christmas in Brazil."
Which of the following celebrities has never recorded a reading of The Night Before Christmas?
Meryl Streep.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar.
Liberace.
Eek-A-Mouse.
Which of the following MTV superstars scrooged the world out of a Christmas album?

Celine Dion.
Hanson.
Jewel.
Babyface.