GettingIt: Choosing a Condom
		Sucking:	Fucking:	Summary:
	Pleasure Plus	The lube is lip-smacking scrumptious on this ultra-thin classy pouch.	A dozen fine ridges deliver delicate G-spot sensations. A superb sheath for slow late-night stroking.	* * * Suave ocean-blue package -- I felt like James Bond bedding an enemy spy in a submarine.
	inSpiral	Pleasant taste, but the "Elephant Man" bubble-head on this grotesque product is unappetizing.	Thin-skinned, but the fat, swirling bulges got wrinkled with friction, and chafed my glans.	* * Christmas-red packaging hides a beastly gift.
	Midnight Desire	Pork rind flavor, but mouthing the black shaft is fantasy fun, if you're "ivory" pretending to be "ebony."	The licorice black hue endowed me with rhythm, but the fit and thickness were less than adequate.	* * Small ugly package, but if you "wanna ball black" -- this tube is for you.
	Trustex (Banana Flavor)	The tropical fruit taste is rancid, and the amber color makes my dick look jaundiced.	Short, tight, un-contoured fit is suffocating, insulting, and insecure.	* A bunch of disappointments. Buy "Kiss of Mint" if you want oral delights.
	Exotica (Snugger Fit)	It's so tight, the veins in my dick protrude unattractively. Greasy french fry flavor.	Dangerous "forward-rolling" due to slimness, and an absolute "popper" if the action heats up.	* This tiny tube clogged my fire hydrant. It's probably safer to wrap your meat in cellophane.
	Durex Rainbow	False Advertising! It's not multi-colored; it's just one color, and the taste is excessively oily.	Curves in at the glans base, for a nice contoured fit. Shaft is a trifle loose.	* * Plain package, average quality. A rip-off if you wanted your wand psychedelic.
	Kiss Of Mint	Yummy peppermint flavor encourages lingering, deep-throat fellatio.	Tapered stem keeps you safe, but the thick skin provides poor sensitivity.	* * * Best blowjob brand, in perky aqua packaging.
	Maxx	Masculine taste that's better than most lubes; 15 percent longer stem has butch appeal.	25 percent bigger head to hold a jumbo load, and it's eminently pop-proof. Base-tapered to prevent slippage.	* * * Sexy black, red, and silver container. Extra length provides huge optical illusion.
	Rough Rider	Chalky taste, but a tickling tongue lapping the studs will delight bronco boyfriends.	A wide, un-contoured tube, but the studs provide "full-length" ecstasy.	* * * A boring package; felt like orifice acupressure on the G-spot.
	Kimono Sensation	Neutral taste. Hundreds of stubs to tease. Attractive clear sheath.	A pale "Sagami" without ribs, with the same sensitivity, snugness, and security.	* * * * Sexy title, in "Flashdance" packaging. This product is orgasm-friendly.
	Vis-A-Vis	Oily lube flavor, but it feels delicious due to ultra-thin skin.	Sensitive, but secure with its long, form-fitted shape. "Naked" pleasure, without worries.	* * * This intimate French title from Japan offers sleek service.
	Magnum	Greasier than roast lamb, but not as tasty. Long shaft is clumsy, and uglier than a corn-dog.	The thick hide made me feel like a cattle prod. Poorly tapered base slides sloppily if you're on a wild ride	* Gun title and cheesy gold package create a phony western aesthetic. Buy "Maxx" if you think you're this big.
	Sagami Type E	Inoffensive taste, in a wasabi-green tube with numerous rib and stud targets for a geisha's tongue.	Micro-thin, perfectly contoured, with the finest assemblage of skin stimulants offered.	* * * * An imperial, intelligent product, in a Zen-inspired package.
	Crown "Skinless Skin"	Light, tasty flavor with a pleasant pink color that adds an attractive rosy blush to my boner.	I feel young and frisky in this fine-fitting rubber.	* * * This winner of the "Sex Workers Choice" award comes in a feminine silver & blue package.