DADDY	SHOW	JOB	YEARLY INCOME (IN US$)	WHAT HE DOES WITH HIS LOOT		WHAT WE LEARNED FROM "DAD"
	JED CLAMPETT	"The Beverly Hillbillies"	Oil Tycoon	$1.75 million	Ellie May		Drunken old women are funny.
	PHILIP DRUMMOND	"Diff'rent Strokes"	CEO of a large corporate conglomerate	$839,000	Purchases African-American children.		That white biological children are more likely to be fucked up than adopted black ones.
	DR. CLIFF HUXTABLE	"The Cosby Show"	Obstetrician	$200,000	Buys Jell-O.		Buy Jell-O.
	RICKY RICARDO	"I Love Lucy"	Band Leader	$67,200	Spends it on cigars and booze. No, wait, that's Castro.		Not all Cubans beat their wives.
	WARD CLEAVER	"Leave it to Beaver"	Accountant	$48,800	We're not sure, but he sure as hell didn't spend it on clothes!		Don't be too hard on the Beaver.
	DARRIN STEPHENS	"Bewitched"	Advertising flack	$45,000	Had himself surgically altered from Dick York into Dick Sargent.		If Dad deserts you, don't worry, some other Dick will be around shortly.
	HOMER SIMPSON	"The Simpsons"	Nuclear Power Plant Safety Inspector	$34,360	Donuts.		The pig is a magical animal.
	FRED FLINTSTONE	"The Flintstones"	Crane Operator	$26,448	Spends it on Betty.		How to dress in drag.